what I'm really thinking...

sometimes I can't sleep & I find myself thinking about the most random stuff..or maybe it's the stuff that I really care about that I don't usually care to admit....well here goes, no perky blog post about an event or casting or whatever...just my random thoughts this Tuesday morning at 8am.

First of all, why am I awake so early for no reason? Then again, I bet people in the South got up for work or the gym hours ago...LA is so laid back, I've gotten so spoiled with my occasional 10AM jobs..

• Do you remember Pedro from Napoleon Dynomite? Well, he's my neighbor right under our apartment....I'm glad he likes to have fun, but I always can hear his late night parties, and he sounds pretty chipper this morning as a matter of fact. Maybe that's what woke me up? 

• I love our new one bedroom apartment, I love that we started our marriage in a teeny tiny studio & didn't even really care! We had a blast...but I sure do love our new place just 2 floors up, even if Pedro is my new loud neighbor, now I can have one more room to hang out in, like right now while B snoozes and I'm up for no good reason but to ramble

• Have you ever had a really close childhood friendship turn into a slowly  drifting apart friendship until you realize it is finally just one-sided and probably not a true friendship after all? 

• I had a friend that I always thought was going to be a BFF, always thought about (still think about obviously) all the time, thinking we will always pick right back up where I remember being so close....and then I finally realized (years later) that this person really hasn't thought about me in months. I have to admit, it is really kind awkward (never can spell this word) when you realize that you care so much more for someone than they do in return. It kind of makes you feel like a loser! It's been really sad to me this past year but there's really nothing I can do about it...I live in California, "out of sight out of mind" perhaps..it's okay though, people change, people grow up and grow apart...it just took me a while to realize it. 

• New chapter for me: I'm working on my new friendships that I have here in LA that I neglect due to missing Texas friends and family....and am really happy to have made a new friend, Holly who I really adore. And of course I have my Bonnie who is such a diva and blessing to me here in Hollywood. Sometimes I forget that "the grass is greener where you water it" ...it's not greener on the other side! (little quote from Savita) There are some really amazing people right in front of your face....you just have to pay attention! I'm really thankful for the handful of girlfriends I have found here in this town.

• Living in California really has been fun, especially this past year as Mrs. Mason! (I hope it is just a newlywed, before babies situation...I don't really plan on sending my future kids to Hollywood High to be rockstars! When we're ready for babies, the burbs might be calling my name!) 

• Bryan took me to Boa steakhouse the other night for our anniversary. The paparattzi were there which is still kind of cool to me to see them in action! Hayden whatever her name is was there along with "The Masons" who were spotted dining at the hot spot! LOL 

• I worked for a Walmart commercial yesterday, doing casting. It was a busy day but a good day. Crazy I only made about enough $ to go grocery shopping or buy one pair of shoes. Sigh. But a great gig for my resume!  

• I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up..

• My dad sent my mom a really cute Valentine that makes me smile. I wont share the details so it can be a private little moment, but it makes me so happy when I see my parents and bryan's parents still in love after so many years....I hope Bryan knows what he is locked into! 

• Hey I just realized Pedro (my neighbor) went to work, suddenly it's quiet. 

• insecurities. aka faults. something you secretly try to improve, enhance or change in order to gain approval or to appear "perfect"...I have a few at least and Lord knows I will never be anyone but me....no matter how hard I try. I wonder if the things that we don't like about ourselves are only "faults" to us, while being enduring characteristics that others love? hmm...I'm going to pray about this one..

• I pray for my friend's babies often...Piper and Price, and I just realized today that I have never actually met them in person before...ever. And now another baby named Baker, is on my heart. A Phi Mu from College just had him and he is in very special care right now, and will most likely be a special needs child. If you would like to pray for my friends babies, I would love that. 

• I'm going to Switzerland in a couple of weeks to visit my daddy, my sister Pam, my niece Reese, my mom & my brother! So sad the breadwinners (Kevin and Bryan) are going to miss this trip while the wives go off to play! Thanks for being providers, awesome hardworking hubbys...we'll send you a postcard! awww..

• My dad wants to teach Reese how to snow ski while we are in Switzerland.          I think he forgets she is only 2! I can't wait. 

hmm..welp, that's all I had on my mind today. wow it's almost 9am! time to make Bryan's lunch before he goes off to work! 

Love,